I was talking to a friend of mine recently concerning the matter of suicide, and I remarked to her that those who commit suicide are essentially ‘proud’ people. That statement drew a shocked expression from her face as I believe she wondered why I would be so ‘callous’ as to label those who kill themselves as proud people (though she never said her thoughts out).
Now, I do not claim to be an authority on depression and all the other issues that may lead to suicide, and I understand quite well that there are people who suffer from depression as a sickness, not just because something bad happened to them, but because they have a disease called ‘depression’. Such depressions can be handled in a clean clinical manner, and I do not intend to make my essay bogus by attempting a study on them.
However, since the matter of suicide is in the air, and most people who kill themselves draw a note of pity from us, and who knows, someone reading this post may attempt or contemplate suicide tomorrow; I intend to draw a consciousness into the minds of my readers that I believe will forestall any thoughts of depression. Though there are many reasons men may attempt to kill themselves, but I want to address those who may kill themselves because bad things happened to them, or something terrible (like poverty, rape, sickness, failure of professional exams, sack from a job, loss of money to 419ners, death of a loved one, falling into a moral lapse and being caught in it and exposed nationwide, etc.) befell them. As such cases may befell anyone, necessity is laid on me to address them.
Bad things happen to all men, and truthfully there is no man on earth who may not have his tales of woes. However, the secret between winners and losers in life is in the way they handle losses in life. A winner is not a man who has all things working out well for him or her. Rather, a winner is one who has learnt how to take a loss. Many people who commit suicide today are simply proud people who were too proud to take a loss. I learnt of a young man who killed himself because he failed his MBBS exams. As I saw that story I simply remarked to myself, “here is a proud young man.” If he were humble, and not proud, he would have accepted that he has failed, and moved on with his life. If after trying to write he fails again, he can go into something else. You do not have to be a medical doctor to succeed in life. You do not have to be educated to the highest level to succeed in life. You do not have to be a virgin to succeed in life. You may have been raped or sexually molested, that is quite bad, but it is not a sign that your life can no longer amount to nothing. The world is full of sexually molested young girls who still lived to become something in life. Even if you lose a beloved one, you are free to cry, weep and mourn for days, but after that, rebound and keep moving.
The proud man feels he should not have failed, and once he experiences failure in life, he feels that life had dealt him badly, so, in order to draw pity from people, he will kill himself. Even if you are an international pastor or preacher, and you were caught in a moral lapse and exposed to the whole world, too bad. Take that loss, repent, return to the Lord, and start rebuilding. With time, as God proves you faithful, he will start re-opening ministerial doors for you again. It is not a reason to kill yourself.
Even if you did a business and lost all your life’s savings, too bad. Take that loss. It is not a reason to kill yourself. If you have faith and follow God, He can still open doors for you and bring you into a wealthy place.
So, whatever may be your lot in life, whatever may have befallen you, take that loss. Swallow your pride and acknowledge that you have failed. Don’t just sit there and wallow in the mire, rebound and keep moving. This is why men who commit suicide will go to hell. They are proud at heart, and do not acknowledge the truth of God that Life itself is worth more than the challenges you face.
We have all been through challenges, and we will yet pass through much more. But that is not a reason to kill oneself. I pray that by the Grace of Jesus, we will learn to take a loss and keep on moving. It is the fundamental difference between winners and losers. Winners are able to take a loss and move on with life, while losers cannot take a loss and so kill themselves.
Apologies if you had a suicide case which was orchestrated by clinical depression, I am not insensitive to your matter, and speaking only for those who kill themselves because of life’s many challenges. God bless us all.
N/B: Credit to Pastor Bankie from who I first heard the words “TAKE THAT LOSS!” You can download his message with that title on